I spent my entire BART wait giggling at the concept of "Suspicious Packages"
Useful Duck wouldn't dream about leaving his bag unattended.
Useless Duck reports all drag-queens to TSA-Agents.
Suggest more ducks to email@example.com (Way Better than Goofus and Gallant)
Better than Goofus and Gallant by a factor of 75. Suggest ducks to firstname.lastname@example.org