Useful Duck irons your clothes.
Useless Duck pops his collar.
Useful Duck saves daddy the big piece of chicken.
Useless Duck wears clear stiletto heels.
(By way of EverybodylovesYourDad)
Useful Duck volunteers daily to help old ladies and young children cross the street.
Useless Duck volunteered as a nurse without indicating that he only approves of the use of windex and 'tussin.
Useful duck makes you the perfect cocktail.
Useless Duck slows down cocktail waitresses with his less than honorable behaviour.
(Via Crazy Canooks)