Useful Duck pitches fast to make the game more watchable.
Useless Duck can’t turn the double play due to the beer in his throwing hand.
(courtesy of the WADder)
Useful Duck helps Boy Scouts get their merit badges.
Useless Duck helps strippers get their pasties.
(From our good friend my-T-Fine)
Useful Duck will replace your lawnmower's spark plugs.
Useless Duck points out your hair plugs.
(Via satellite from RunawayTrain)